Guru RaceLite - RIP - Dec 2002 - May 2007

Haven't posted in a month of Sundays...

So if you were wondering how long a carbon/aluminum/scandium frameset will last with my sort of abuse being placed upon it, the answer is 4 years, 5 months give or take a few days.

Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, Colorado, Arkansas, Alabama, Arizona, Florida, South Carolina. Training races, commuting, rides, crits, motorpacing, road races. 3 Rouge Roubaix, 4 Cheaha Challenges, Trail Ridge Road, Gate's Pass.

... then the Guru gave up the good fight, i'm thinking this happened at this year's Cheaha. It was probably in the works for a while, but the crack surfaced near the top tube/seat tube cluster and it's being warrantied as we speak. Looks like i'll be on a new one soon. Not only was it the most comfortable, best fitting bike i've ever had, it had the good sense to crack 7 months before the warranty went out. THANKS GURU!

holy crap!

That's Taylor's comment at the end of this video of the Sunny King crit. Scott K. (he's the 3rd to pass by) rode a smart race to bridge up to the winning break, then it looked like he might win at the top of the looooonnnngggg straight-away climb to the finish, but he ended up in 3rd. Awesome ride though. I say long, because they changed the course from the last time i did it, giving it longer straights and shorter stretches at the top and bottom.


Here's an even blurrier image of the Pro 1/2 field going through turn 3.

try to do right, but not right now

so, i'm way behind on posting.
here's a 360 mini-flick of us surgically striking gillian welch at the jazz fest. i need to work on my 360 technique, i clipped ryan's head off but it's still a keeper.
it was great, we got in, got our bluegrass via the west coast fix, then snuck out under cover of Bonnie Raitt.
if gillian welch comes anywhere near you ever, beg, borrow, and steal to get there.
it's the 3rd time i've seen her/them and it's always awesome. At times, it may seem that David Rawlings is choking his guitar to death, but the result is simply astounding. Gillian's self-deprecating humor is always fun, "Our songs range from slow to real slow, but this is one of the upbeat ones".

How bout the Family?

Anybody watching these final Sopranos episodes?
I thought Pauley and Tony heading to Florida to avoid the heat was a bit of a used up theme but Pauley packing 3 pairs of white shoes for the trip was worth it and he really dodged the bullet, or bait knife, however you want to put it.

Also, the renaissance of Corrado was a kick, i loved it.

Beware the Colombian TGV

Sebas...that's the story from last night's windy training race. Don't know if you've seen him lately, here's a recent photo.

It was windy, not gusty, just constant and the turnout was all you could ask for. Lots of fast folk, lots of hard riding all the way around.

When we made the left hand turn, we finally got a nice tailwind which was being wasted by idle chatter and comfortable 22 mph 2x2 riding. Norm wasn't having it and pumped the pace back up.

Adrenalin remnants and the favorable winds made for a fast moving group of about 6 of us who were rotating at 29. We didn't stay off for long, then Sebas pulled through and i thought, "you know, i should grab that wheel."

Carnage ensued, quickly we were off, he's pulling and i'm watching the speedo go 30,31,32,33,34,35. Yep that was a steady 35 through the first s-turn, ok. I looked under my arm and there's nobody, the group is quickly becoming a dot on the vanishing horizon.

In my head i'm thinking, "i sure hope somebody is filming this" then "don't flick your arm dude, i'm not going to match this" then a small gap opened. I'm doing 33, and holding it steady, i start wondering "am i about to be dropped while riding at 33?" It was impressive.

Luckily, he finally backed off, the pack came back and all was well. Sebas pulled off at Gardere, thankfully. If he had done that again, i think i would have had an aneurysm on the spot.

The rest was good fun, hard pulls into the wind in the final miles made the pack much smaller. Brian and i tried a 2 man break with about 2k to go but got pulled back by tri-power. It was fun and it hurt, good stuff.

current events and such

So today i caught up with Sega via meebo.com and instantly became a fan. It truly is a wicked gimmick app 2.0. Check it out, now i'm running my other IM through it. SLICK

The Vineman countdown continues on the page, but i'm out. I put it together this way, if that countdown = X, then X + 14 = the arrival of our new addition, so X - any quantity would probably be better spent preparing for the latter as opposed to the former, if you catch my drift. Well maybe that's too algebraic.

In other tri news, the Black Pearl, no, not Johnny Depp's ship, is bad to the bone. With this thing on, i actually understand what buoyancy is. I've swam twice now in an unheated pool and it is incredible. I've always been somewhere between bad and pathetic as a swimmer, and my first time in it, i swam for 60 minutes nonstop no problems. I'm sure i'm still slow, but i'm faster. It's incredible, i actually enjoy swimming in it. I think i'll focus strictly on wetsuit legal tri's from now on.

Did another great training race this past Tuesday. Amazing what a new chain, cassette and pulleys will do for your bike. My old pulleys were looking more like perfect circles than cogs. Add in new ones and voila, no more griding sensation. We had a great turnout, lots of suffering, then a TCF leadout train for the finish. In the end i could only get near the back wheel of Seabass, so like a scolded Leif Hoste, i had to settle for 2nd, but it was lots of fun and pain none the less.

peace out

Would you put this on your car?

This showed up in the Advocate today.

Leading to this discussion on BRTri.

Here's the new protest site, i hadn't seen it before.

Raising Cane's Individual Timetrial Race Report

I've decided to focus on the positive events of the race.

I bought a 12 pack of toilet paper for the port-a-let.

A cyclist thanked me.

I hung out with friends.

I didn't have to ride in the wind.

I had a short drive home.

Rethought

Pat is much more than a witty reference to an early-90's hip-hop duo.

He swam this far.

Pat is friggin Aquaman and probably a few other super heroes too.

breaking news

I love my wife, this piece is awesome.

Pat is both daddy mack and mack daddy, he swam 32 frickin miles!

Favorite Orlando t-shirt: Fat People are Harder to Kidnap
Why anyone would buy this shirt, i can't say, but it made me laugh a lot.

And another thing, who the hell is Hollister of California? Ok, well now i know, but after 2 or 3 days at the Disney parks, i finally decided that it was "Wear clothes with the word Hollister on it and get in free Week" Geez, not since the Coca Cola Shirt fad of the mid-80's have i seen such lemming like behavior. I'm not overstating the fact that i probably saw a thousand of these things.

That's about all from here.

toothless two-man ttt

I like to classify flatland tt's into three types, type A is the preferred, headwind out, tailwind back. Type C is characterized by the maelstrom of crosswinds that you usually find out on River Road, so it's never really bad and never really good either. Then lastly, there is type B, the dreaded tailwind out, headwind back.

Type B is the devourer of souls
Type B makes you want to step off your bike at the turn around and go home
Type B looks at you naked and calls others to watch
Type B causes your shaven leg hair to turn gray or fall out in patches
Type B sucks
Last Saturday's NOBC Two Man Time Trial was Type B

Keepin it real, or in this case real-ler. We got into Baton Rouge around midnight after driving all day long from Orlando. Somewhere in Alabama, i bit into a piece of gum and voila, my glued-in front tooth popped out... Nice Trick.

Now i'm in Alabama minus a front tooth, wait a sec, i look like one of the locals! badum bum. In my head, i rationalize, no front tooth might mean i can breath easier in the TT, yeah right. After unloading the car, getting Ryan back to sleep, yada yada yada, i probably got to bed around 1:30 am, enough time to get the mean 3.5 hours of sleep then head down to LaPlace with Norm to race. Luckily he was driving, so i could veg a bit.

When we got there, there was no wind, nothing zip zero, i wanted to be the first team off. But, racing in the huge 1,2 field (of 3) meant we'd go off last. We probably chilled for 30 minutes shooting the bull with folks, before we started riding. At that point the course rapidly began becoming type B.

The wind was gusting a bit and you could feel it on the highway. After 20 minutes of that i had enough, and rode Corey's rollers for maybe 10 minutes. I got off of those, got back on the road and the wind had gotten much stronger, i rode there for maybe 5 minutes then got back on the rollers, sick of the wind already.

We got to the line and i could see this flag just blowing straight out down the highway. Oh yeah, this will be good. My lack of a smile here was part game-face, part "I don't want to look like Michael Spinks".

Norm took the first pull, and we did the first few miles at 30-31, after that i don't think it ever dropped below 28. We hit the cone in a little over 26 minutes (28.6 avg) which was cool and then BAM turned around into the headwind. We had Tim and Realdo 2 minutes behind us, then Frank and McBain 2 minutes behind them. At this point, i thought we had a good shot at holding them off. The headwind felt otherwise.

I was afraid, we'd only do 22 all the way back, but it got better. Lots of 22-24-26-22-24-26. In the end, we averaged 24 to get back in about 31 minutes. In the last few miles, the McBain Train of Pain rolled by us, and i thought, "well at least we held off Realdo and Tim." That lasted for about 40 seconds and they came swooping by. At that point we really "coasted" in to do 57:09.

All in all i was satisfied, i couldn't have gone much harder and unlike the last time Norm and i rode this course, i wasn't a complete mess just trying to hold his wheel. Lots of fast times out there though, Bo obviously got his revenge on me, 55:36!

Do they come in threes? or three hundreds?

1) Two weeks ago, the parking area at the split was covered with nails, causing cyclists who park their cars there to get flats.

2) Last Thursday, an oncoming truck swerved into the B-race's lane on a perfectly straight part of the road, reportedly coming 4 feet over the line.

3) Last night, Tom reports that riders waiting at the base of the levee were threatened before the training race.

I'm sick of writing letters to the editor, the assumption there is that people can actually read. I'll be damned if i ride my bike to work any more. This chick had a point.

This town sucks.

Elect me mayor.

thanks to all the product sponsors

who made Thursday's all-nighter to Orlando possible...
All went well, Ryan was a champ, we left BR at 9, got into Tallahassee around 4, took a 2 hour snooze and made it into the hotel around noon.

the fun that was

My third attempt to make the training race was finally a success. In celebration of the cool weather, i went full-on Chiapucci. Joining me in true Euro-imposter stylings were Dr. Brian's SuperSized WC Cricket, Tom's tri-color French Nat Champ, and some Squirrelly Postie, more on him later.

Off we went, a pretty good sized group. It's funny, i'm using a heartrate monitor for the first time in a while, and on the trainer i have to work hard to reach a hr of 170, in a group ride, it's automatic.

I stayed near the front until Gardere, then i went back a bit. That's when the interesting stuff started. Lots of squirrellyness going on, the pack bouncing around a good bit, then all of the sudden, here's why. Some dude comes riding through the pack, against traffic, namely us, about 3 feet off the shoulder on a 20 inch bmx bike. NICE!

This inspired me to get back up front pronto. When i got there i saw SeaBass off, WAY OFF the front, flying near the split. I took a turn or two, nobody came through so out of spite (and some stupid desire to suffer) i decided to bridge solo. Right off, i'm doing 29, cadence 105, hr 180+. I hold this steady and it takes a while, but i make it to within maybe 50 yards of him. Right there i can't seem to close the last bit, so between breaths, i shout out "HEY!". It was funny, b/c i didn't know if i could talk at all, let alone that loud. Luckily, he waits up.

I get on and try to recover, but it's not easy b/c he's pulling 28, but eventually i'm back to 171. We've got a huge gap at this point, and we just start rolling 28-29. Part of me is psyched to make the bridge, the other part is thinking "Crap! what if nobody catches us? do i have to keep doing this?" That doesn't last too long, we stay off for a while, but eventually the pack gets organized and brings us back, just in time for the prop sprint.

As is often the case, a dozen guys who haven't been anywhere near the front for the whole ride go gonzo for the prop. I always wonder "Did they take a short cut?" Well in a sense they did. Anyway, we regroup and get going again, about this time the Postie Squirrel shows up on the left hand side of the road, riding against traffic, forcing cars to "thread the needle". The sides of this proverbial needle being us and him.

This is when i overheard Tom give sage advice, the sort of wisdom that takes years and years of cycling experience to develop and just might not be apparent to your average human being, let alone someone on a bicycle. "HEY DUDE! RIDE ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THE ROAD WILL YA!" Maybe he was imitating the homey on the bmx bike i don't know what was going on there.

From this point on, it was just more of the same, get away, get caught, rinse and repeat. The group got a good bit smaller and in the final kilo, Chris tried to give me a leadout, but i was blown.

I think SeaBass won, he is super strong right now. I think there are a lot of strong riders right now, lots of different people pulling throughout, which is usually something you find later in the season. And most importantly, it looks like my workouts are doing the trick.

Good times, good times.

the training race that wasn't

Last night was Opening Night at the Tuesday/Thursday Training Race on River Road.
I was excited to get out and see the old and new faces, catch up on old times, then cause people pain so that they could in turn cause me more pain. You know, my favorite thing to do in life.

It's as though all those hours spent on rollers, trainers, running at night, early in the morning, riding with a headlamp at the mall, swimming, all that crap comes together so that finally, after the DST rolls in, you can ride with your friends again on a crappy dangerous road, max your heartrate out, and get yelled at by the locals. I couldn't wait.

Unfortunately with all the things i had to do yesterday morning, i didn't pack my bike. No biggie i thought, i'll swing by the house and get it before the race. With BR traffic being what it is, that wasn't going to work. So i drove straight home, changed and headed out from the house, figuring i'd catch up with the pack around the first bend. Still time to socialize for a minute or two before all hell breaks loose.

Heading down Bluebonnet on my Easton's, i felt very fast. I guess b/c i've been riding most of the time on 700x28's capable of rolling over anything. I knew this would be a great day. I turned right on Nicholson, hugged the shoulder for dear life and was forced into some mud clomps. No biggie, at least for the first 20 or so, then blammo slammo. My rear tire blows out big time. The kind of blow-out that makes you wish you had brought your cell phone.

No biggie, i stop, inspect the tire and see a small slit in the sidewall.
No biggie, i'll find some discarded paper cup and patch that bad boy up.
Unfortunately, i must have found the only 100 feet of Nicholson with NO LITTER ON IT.
The best i could do was some cellophane potato chip bag, so i fold the thing 20 times, stuff it under the slit and hit the CO2.
Here's where the problem comes in, i'm thinking, if my sidewall doesn't bulge i'm gold. But it bulges so much i can nearly read the lettering on the cellophane.
So, on a wing and a prayer, i limped back home and got in 25 minutes on the day.
No biggie, i guess i needed the easy day.

There will be many other Tuesdays.

Holy Sir Squirrel-a-lot

The Tivo picked up the Tour of Qatar on OLN last night. Stage 1 was cool, a TTT with no aero equipment. Did anyone see the sprint at the end of stage 2? Not Good. Graeme Brown went all "Mike W. on Joey D. at the B&B" and got relegated.

Another observation, why does this race happen? I'm guessing some single sheik pays for the whole thing with his discretionary income, because i've seen more spectators at Cat 5 road races. There is nobody out there watching this race.

Are you not entertained?

Estimated Average Speeds from Last Windy Weekend

1. Herring Bain 28.1 mph
2. Smurf Corcorans 27.1
3. Fried Chicken R Us 26.3
4. Herring Bo 26.2
5. MidSouth Jay 25.9

I impressed me, which is hard to do.
I also threw up a lot, but that's to be expected.

Three Man

Nope, it's not a throwback to my favorite college drinking game, the kind you play to lose. No, that was the theme for this morning's LAMBRA road opener, the Raising Cane's Three Man Team Time Trial.

Yesterday's weather was perfect, today's was not exactly as good. Windy and cold, not Yankee cold, or Rocky Mountain cold but cold none the less.

How cold? Well i met Norm and the rest of the crew at 7:00 to set up registration. Sitting in the shade, registering teams for 2 hours left me a shivering mess, even with blue jeans and a sweat shirt pulled over my duds with full warmers on. The same thing happened last year, you would think i'd learn.

Once reg was done, we learned we had about 20 minutes to get ready, warm up and race. Just like last year. So off we went. A quick spin on the trainer, then a few adjustments to the bike, and we were ready to go.

On the start line we took the opportunity to catch up with old friends and taunt the Peake boys for their new threads which are seemingly Gerolsteiner-inspired. We would learn later that questioning a team's sexuality minutes before they start 60 seconds after you isn't a good plan. In other words, we saw those baby blue shirts again about 10 miles down the road.

But i digress, i rode with Norm and Brandon, the last time we rode together was the day i dinged the Orbea after touching wheels with Brandon, so i was anxious to stay perpendicular to the road as much as possible. Looking down the road from the line, you could see the weeds in the field laying down away from us, big tailwind. Norm took the first pull, i thought this might mean an easy transition into tt mode. But instead he took us right to 32 and left it there for nearly three minutes. From there we probably hit a dozen different headwind/crosswind combinations doing 24-28 before the end of the lap, right where the Peake guys passed us.

Back in the tailwind, Brandon dropped off, so the last lap was just me and Norm. I thought we'd slow down a lot, but instead we just upped the suffering/barfing and finished up.

We got 2nd in the 1/2, which means i get 0 LAMBRA points. This whole point thing made a lot more sense when we scored 1/2/3 all together. Instead i keep getting donuts in ttt events. I don't think there were enough 1/2 or 3 teams to even merit points, so maybe they should be together.

Just to put some perspective on Herring's winning ride. In the last kilometer, Norm and i gutted out a 28 mph finish. Frank told me that he, Bain and Realdo were all together until then and Bain kicked it up to 38 and Realdo dropped off. 38? after 21 miles at tt pace? Good God

My bad mojo from the last ttt passed to TCF, Stan went down and destroyed his frame and both new aero wheels. I've heard different figures on the cost of this crash, but even the most conservative one makes me cringe big time. Luckily no real injuries on that one, just skin loss and severe wallet hemorrhage. Some ladies went down too, but i didn't hear the final word on their injuries.

Speaking of TCF, i'll go out on a limb right now and say that they will win the LAMBRA Points Competition for 2007. They turned out in droves. I can't tell you the number of TCF's i signed up but it was impressive. The key to winning that competition is having point-scorers in all categories and that they have. Also a big "new jersey" phenomenon going on with new S3, MidSouth and Precision Bike teams showing up in big numbers.

I think the results will probably be up sometime in April or May.

Wind Trainer Theater

I've been enjoying some great old tapes while working out in the mornings, this past week was the 92 Tour de France. Just awesome. Big Mig wins his 2nd tour with massive tt performances. What really stuck out though was how many previous tour winners animated the race, LeMond, Roche, Delgado, and Fignon all racing hard. Then there's baby-face Zuelle and Virenque who each got the yellow jersey for a day. Chiapucci had to be drinking some fine water to race the way he did throughout it all, his escape to Sestriere was huge. Hampsten won on the Alpe d'Huez, pushing away a little kid who wanted to pour water on his head. It's great stuff.

Nobody's Pretty Baby

That's a phrase my dad has always used, and it's fitting to describe most people in a 2 mile race, myself included. In one of them my eyes appear to be rolling back in my head. What's funny is how they mistook me for Norman in a few shots on the bike, i don't know why, we were only dressed the same with the same dorky helmet.